Humility, Smarts and Wisdom

“What do you think, Rāhula? What is the purpose of a mirror?”

“It’s for checking your reflection, sir.”

“In the same way, deeds of body, speech, and mind should be done only after repeated checking.

When you want to act with the body, you should check on that same deed: ‘Does this act with the body that I want to do lead to hurting myself, hurting others, or hurting both?

Is it unskillful, with suffering as its outcome and result?’

• MN 61 Advice to Rahula at Ambalatthika

In recent years (meaning the past decade), I had a few exchanges with different people that seems to be a sort of pattern.

• they are all very smart, which isn’t just me asserting that they are smart, but is validated from their schools, their grades, profession, etc.
• they are all damaged in some way or another, on the personal front. One of them clearly suffered from PTSD. If I follow the dementia/depression screening that I used to do for the elderly, I think all of them would test positive for depression (definitely not dementia!), even if they might not admit it.
• they all don’t listen very well. From joint conversations with other people, often, their takeaways from the joint conversations are radically different from others, including myself. It is almost as though we were NOT in the same conversation…
• they pride themselves as being intelligent and skeptical, and that often comes across from their follow-up questions and statements.
• they take offence very easily, especially if there are potential allusions to them.
• they have all caused offence to others, in ways that they themselves often don’t understand.
• they are all male.
• they are all Buddhist-inclined, i.e. they have shown an affinity to some aspects of Buddhism, but not entirely. E.g. I don’t think any of them truly believe in past lives.

I have a very soft spot for these folks, because while I (really) don’t think I am as smart as them (I would classify myself as more studious than smart), I see a lot of my old-self in them, and had really suffered before as they have.

In my opinion, many of their actions fall in the category of smart but unwise (which I tried to define here), often in the name of some abstract principle like “Truth” or “Justice”. They often end up hurting themselves and others in the process; one of them left behind a trail of damage that can only be described as a bushfire in the organisation…

This came up yesterday when I was talking with my wife over lunch: we were talking about all kinds of things (as usual), and she commented that such folks lack self reflection. My conclusion is that the fundamental gap they have (and their blindspot) is the lack of humility, which is the necessary condition for a self-reflection feedback loop.

My hypothesis is that, because these folks are smart, and have proven to be smart over the years, they tend to only trust their own minds and experiences (which might also explain why they don’t listen well!), which then magnifies their doubt (the Fifth Hindrance), which worsens their blindspots. The root cause is probably the delusion causing doubt.

And because they don’t listen well, they tend to think others misunderstand them, which then creates a feedback loop of mistrust from their pov. This generates a lot of compassion (not pity: just compassion!) in me…

I ask myself, “What is the difference between me and these guys?”

• The key difference is probably just different conditioning, meaning that our past histories have different causes and effects, which led to a different conditioning of the mind.
• This different conditioning then allowed me to have a direct personal experience that hugely removed my sense of Doubt in the Buddhist teachings & in my teacher Ajahn Brahm. Even if they went through the same exact retreat I went to, I highly doubt that they would have had the same results, as their conditioning is so different.
• Instead of Doubt, I had a validated “experimental result” that has given a lot of Confidence(Sadda) in my teacher and the Teachings.
• And this confidence has opened me up to humility and feedback: the entire Dhamma and Vinaya is all about getting feedback from others, and seeking forgiveness when needed. It also helps to have a straight-talking wife who (over the years) has also become very Buddhist, and who isn’t afraid to call bullshit when she sees it in me. :)

Ajahn Brahm once gave a Rains Retreat talk titled “A fast and happy path”, in which the necessary factor for a fast and happy Eightfold Path is Confidence (sadda). So perhaps the underlying cause for the lack of humility is simply the lack of Confidence in the Buddhist teachings. May all beings develop the necessary Confidence (sadda) in the Buddhist teachings, to be free via a fast and happy Path…

Written on 7 Sep 25 4:56pm.