Notes of being a kappiya to Ajahn Brahm

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I had written a previous post about my learnings as Ajahn Brahm’s kappiya, but this post is slightly different.

My wife suggested for me to write this post, as a note for future kappiyas to Ajahn Brahm, so that other people might have the future chance to serve Ajahn Brahm in future executive retreats.

Kappiya’s role

The kappiya’s role is nominally the male lay attendant to Ajahn Brahm. This is necessary in the context of the Vinaya (monastic rules that monks and nuns keep), as there are some things that monks cannot do themselves.

  • For example, monks are not allowed to sit down in a private place with a woman. So the kappiya needs to sit with Ajahn Brahm if a laywoman requests a private dialogue with him.

  • Also, if any money is handed to Ajahn, the kappiya’s role is to help Ajahn handle the money or precious items. I have had to help Ajahn Brahm accept ang pows and transfer money to the BSWA bank accounts for him, as he can’t touch money.

  • A major role is to ensure laywomen don’t get too close to Ajahn when they are taking pictures with him. They need to be a hand’s width apart from him.

  • Also, to serve Ajahn food and requisites: breakfast, lunch, or tea/chocolates that are beyond the 7 day allotment.

But beyond the Vinaya requirements, the kappiya to Ajahn Brahm also serves other important roles in the executive retreat:

  • The kappiya (as the main attendant to Ajahn) often has to help relay messages about the retreat programme between Ajahn and the other retreat organizers. I often found myself helping to coordinate the retreat programme, often with suggestions to Ajahn (based on my best understanding of the situation), and will leave Ajahn to make the final decision. Sometimes I found myself being asked by Ajahn what I thought was a good idea or not.

  • Ajahn Brahm often gets a LOT of gifts: people will give him ginseng, chicken essence, cordyceps, chocolate, cheese, sweets, tea, condensed milk, etc. The kappiya’s role is to help Ajahn redistribute these gifts to the rest of the retreatants (with Ajahn’s permission), as many of these gifts are far too much for a single person to consume.

  • A last role is to protect Ajahn Brahm by running interference: sometimes there are people who keep asking him questions, even when Ajahn was very clearly tired. Once during a retreat, a retreatant kept badgering him with questions, even as Ajahn was walking very slowly away… so that prompted me to interject and ask her “sister, could you put your questions in the Q&A basket instead? Ajahn is quite tired after a whole evening of Q&A already!” I should add that this very rarely occurs, as Ajahn is extremely skilled and wise in dealing with people.

  • Also, sometimes there are people who have extreme situations who want to seek Ajahn’s advice on specific matters. Once, a lady wanted to ask him for advice that she felt was too personal to put into the Q&A basket. My role as kappiya was to float the request up to Ajahn, and if Ajahn agreed, to then figure out where was a suitable place for the separate consult, and to attend with Ajahn (since this was a laywoman). So after Ajahn agreed, I managed to find a suitable room, and then fixed the time with her and with Ajahn, and we met her together.

I should also add the following:

  • The kappiya should not abuse his position to badger Ajahn Brahm with his personal questions. Ajahn Brahm gives a lot of himself, and often gets very tired and exhausted. I often found myself deliberately not asking Ajahn any specific questions, and often directed my questions to the Q&A basket (like the other retreatants), so that I don’t use my privileged position to ask him questions. Many people want to “hang out” with Ajahn Brahm, but the (inspiring!) truth is that Ajahn Brahm would very often prefer to just be by himself, in the hotel room with blackout curtains drawn, meditating as much as he wishes… so ideally, a kappiya shouldn’t keep asking Ajahn Brahm questions, but should instead focus on serving Ajahn as best as he can.
    • Note: of course, there are times when I did ask Ajahn questions of my own, and I think asking a couple of questions of Ajahn is generally ok. The key word here is “badger”… in recent years, I have tended to not ask Ajahn questions unless he asked me if I was alright.

I think the above broadly summarizes some of the key pointers of being Ajahn Brahm’s kappiya, and i hope this is helpful to future kappiyas of Ajahn Brahm!

Written on 20 Oct 25 8:02pm.